"We have stony hearts toward the living and we erect monuments of stone to the dead. A living memorial is the only kind worthy of living beings, whether they are with us here or have gone Beyond. Better name after him the street in or near which he lived than to erect some obstruction in stone, for the one comes into our life and the other we pass by carelessly. But better set to work the noble ideas which he had and do, as far as we may and can, that which he longed to do. Thus he remains in our lives, the living factor that he was, and the memory of him does not become part of a tombstone or a static statue." -- William Z. Spiegelman.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Mary Fels: A Study in Jewish Womanhood (an incomplete manuscript)

Chapter II

What was the status of the Jewish woman in Jewish lore, Jewish law, Jewish society and the Jewish home?

Of all the revelations that mankind's history has regarded as divine, the revelation at Mount Sinai has made its strongest impression on the human mind.

Out of the thunder and storm, mankind received what is usually termed the Ten Commandments through the Hebrew channel. Much of the cultural, political and economic conditions which underlie the structure of organized society rests upon the principles of these Commandments, the necessity of which now appears self-evident.

"Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal and thou shalt not covet" have assumed universal significance.

It was, and still is, different with the Commandment, "Thou shalt honor they father and thy mother." This Commandment was indeed a commandment to be obeyed and drilled into ancient society. The status of woman in pagan antiquity, and even into Christian medieval times, was little different from that of property and slaves. Not to mention the status of women in the Sumarian, Babylonian and Egyptian civilizations, as late as the Roman Empire, the conception of family as consisting of man, wife and child, as individuals with equal rights, duties and privileges, did not exist. The Latin expression "famulum" meant nothing more than "property."

With this commandment, the liberation of the Jewish woman and, ultimately, women in general, began.

Varied indeed has been the situation of the Jewish woman throughout the recorded ages. In accordance with the conditions of the time and environment, it underwent the necessary changes.

The note, however, struck in the fourth Commandment remained as a tremendous influence in formulating the attitude, the status, the condition and the appreciation of the Jewish woman.

Faced by the environment of the cave man's world, the ancient custom of the Israelite tribes did not entirely abolish the dependence of woman. It merely went to the extent of limiting this dependence. The father was the master of his daughter. He had, indeed, the right to sell her. This right, however, was limited to six years and with the understanding that the future master, or his son, would marry her. Should he fail to do so at the expiration of the period, the girl was freed for "he has dealt with her deceitfully." This was only applicable to the daughter who had not attained majority, that is, twelve and a half years. If the daughter reached this age in her father's home, she could not be sold. The father had the right to betroth his daughter before her majority, with the understanding, however, that the engagement could be canceled should she, upon attaining her majority, not desire to marry her betrothed. The choice of Isaac by Rebecca is an example which has been followed.

When Abraham's emissary came from Palestine to Mesopotamia to his relatives to ask for the hand of Rebecca for his son, Isaac, the girl's parents immediately declared: "We will call the damsel and inquire at her mouth," a privilege which was not granted to sons.

"The price of the virgins," the old established payment of the bridegroom to the bride's father, was soon changed into the dowry. As early as the time of Solomon, this institution of dowry brought by the bride into her husband's family was, it seems, well established. The position of the married woman naturally improved when she brought her husband a dower instead of being purchased by him.

The Hebrew word "Shilluchim," which literally means "the dismissal," was soon out of taste. The dismissal dowry was soon substituted by the Babylonian word "Nedunyia," which was meant to be the father's bestowing on the daughter such gifts as would inure to the husband's benefit. In Jewish life, it early became customary for the father to return to the husband the "price" which he obtained from the bridegroom. The "price" gradually developed into the dowry. The dowry became the wife's "insurance policy," strangely enough the first social insurance, which was to be returned to her in the event of her husband's death, prior to every other obligation his estate might have incurred. This "policy" was also to be paid in case of divorce. This clause made divorce difficult and often impractical, although the Jewish conception of marriage was far from adhering to the principle "What God has joined together let no man put asunder."

Another distinction must be noted. It found expression in the popular definition of marriage.

"Before the law was given, a man could have walked along in the marketplace and met a woman. If he desired to take her, and if she agreed, he could bring her to his home and she became his wife by mutual agreement. Since the law was given, the Jews were ordered that if a Jewish man wants to take a woman, he must purchase her first before witnesses, and afterward she would become his wife."

In these few words, Maimonides, the Twelfth Century codifier of Jewish law, expresses the difference between common-law marriage and Jewish marriage. Simultaneously, a new word came into use for the marriage ceremony. It was no longer a "taking" but a sanctification: "Kiddushin."

One sixth of the collection of Jewish laws in the Mishna and Talmud are devoted to the subject of marriage and women's rights. The forms of marriage were treated in a special tractate named "Kiddushin." This treatment of marriage as a sanctification, the rights and the respect accorded to the mother, the right of choice to the daughter, led to the creation of a wholesome family life within Jewry. A bridgegroom was, according to ancient law, to be released from military service for one year. The priests, who were prohibited from attending funerals or remaining under the same roof with the unburied dead, were not only allowed, but were instructed to attend the funerals of their wives, although they became, in accordance with the priestly law, tainted.

Numerous are the songs in world literature devoted to the description and admiration of woman. Poetry, modern poetry in particular, had its inspiration in woman. Her beauty, her charm, have been the object of poets' and artists' adoration. Unparalleled, however, remains the ancient Jewish ode to woman which, while appreciating her beauty and charm, proclaims that "charm is deceitful and beauty is vain."

This ode, which dates back to almost a primitive stage of civilization, repeated for centuries in Jewish homes on every Friday evening by the husband as part of the ritual in honor of the "Sabbath princess," stands alone in its tribute to woman:

Who can find a virtuous woman
For her price is far above rubies.
The Heart of her husband safely trusts in her
So that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
Works willingly with her hands
She is like the merchants' ships
She brings her food from afar.
She rises with the dawn
Gives meat to her household
And a portion to her maidens.
She sees a field and buys it.
With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard
She girds her loins with strength
And strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good
Her candle goeth not out by night
She lays her hand to the spindle
And her hands hold the distaff.
She stretches out her hand to the poor
Yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy
Not afraid of the snow for her household
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes coverings of tapestry
Her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
He sits among the elders of the land.
She makes fine linen and sells it,
Delivers girdles unto the merchant.
Strength and honor are her clothes.
She will rejoice in time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom
And her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looks well to the ways of her household
And eats not the bread of idleness.
Her children rise and call her blessed,
Her husband also praises her
Many daughters have done well
But you excel them all.
Deceitful is charm and vain is beauty,
But a woman that fears the lord
She will be praised.
Give her the fruit of her hands
And let her work praise her in the gates.

Polygamy, which was not prohibited in the original law, was not, it seems, generally practiced during the second Commonwealth. In all the records of the rabbis and leaders who shaped the fate of the nation, polygamy is never mentioned.

The wives of the leaders and rabbis are held in almost equal reverence with them. Frequently they are mentioned as participating in the work of their distinguished husbands. "His house -- that means his wife" was an interpretation reached by the Talmudists, not only in their method of exegesis, but in the way of life, as well. The Biblical definition of the woman ("a help against him") was interpreted in Jewish tradition to mean that the choice is offered: if he is worthy, he has the privilege of her being a help to him. If he is not worthy, she is against him. To establish on firm foundations the rights and privileges of woman, so that she should be a help for the man, Jewish tradition has missed no occasion. Both in the laws of marriage and in the laws of inheritance, property division, economic participation and social position, the interests of the woman were zealously guarded. The "Ketubah," one of the most ancient forms of contract, is a document of which the liberality, foresight and precision has not been surpassed.

The six hundred and thirteen ordinances that were intended to regulate the life of the individual Jew and that created a discipline and formed the hardiness of the Jewish character do not, it is true, apply to the Jewish woman. Of the six hundred and thirteen, only three were assigned as her immediate obligation. They were the lighting of candles, the purity of family life, and the dedication of the family bread -- three essential conditions for the growth and fostering of a healthy atmosphere in the home and the development of a strong generation.

"Women are merciful" is a saying that goes through all Jewish literature. "For the sake of the righteous women our forefathers were liberated from Egypt" is another. "Treat the woman gently for her tears grow hot" is another. "If your wife is of small statue, bow when you speak to her" is an oft-repeated command of gallantry. "Let each man honor his wife as himself and love her more than himself." "The custom of the man is to court the woman." These are only a few of the gems of the gallantry with which the woman in the family was honored.

This treatment had its effect. It created proverbial Jewish family life, unadulterated and unassailed, even by the forces of danger. The records of the Inquisition, the documents of the Crusader period, contain the names of as many women as men who preferred death at their own hands or at the hands of their oppressors to betrayal of their family faith and culture.

(Text from a typewritten, undated manuscript.)

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